Really bad things happen to really good people

I believe Jesus is perfect, when it comes to being good, He's the best you'll come by. Jesus was betrayed by one of His closest friends (ouch), He was captured and tortured (double ouch), and then killed (super ouch). He was seperated from Himself, from His Father God, for the first time since the beginning. Jesus and God had been sharing everything in the way of GLORY until He came to take on the sins of the world. Jesus experienced a hard life in human form, to ultimately die so that I (we) may have life here on Earth and for eternity. I get to spend eternity with my Savior becasue some really crappy things happened to Him.
Yesterday as I read John 13: 26-30, 26 Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.
I tried to put myself in the disciples shoes, I wonder if they beat themselves up for not paying closer attention, if they thought back to this encounter and wished they could have done more, if they felt helpless looking back on it. I think I would have tried to beat up Judas or something... BUT it was the will of God. Things can look bad but be the will of God.
In my own life, I'm told I am a good person. I'm reminded of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, patience, and self-control. You see, I am a good person, God has given me the fruit of His Spirit, so I am full of goodness! Today, I'm able to appreciate the trials and tribulation I recently endured. I now realize God had to get me to Kansas somehow! But in the midst of the waiting back in NC for a job... and traveling half way across the country to lose the job, wait some more for another job and be challenged in many ways, I couldn't help but ask, "why is this crap happening to me?"  There was a period of several weeks where I questioned His will and His ways, just as I am sure the disciples questioned Jesus for surrendering so easily and God for allowing Him to die. OH but the consequesnces were many AND His glory was revealed when He came back to walk with them for 40 more days and THEN He sent His Holy Spirit.
Here is where I come to the conclusion, bad things must happen to good people. I had to be tested to make sure there was goodness at the core of my being, if everything is easy going and simple how will we ever know if we're actually good? If I am never tested, how will people see the goodness in me as I face rough times. How will they tell us believers apart from any ol person?
The girls at the House of Hope, where I have been employed and walking in my destiny for several weeks now feel as though they are being tortured. They will one day look back on their experience and see that they've been set free from the chains like Daniel- refined by fire. Let the burning begin!
Another point I'd like to explore from John 13 is verse 27 "As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him." How often are we in the presence of someone who we've been walking alongside for years and evil enters them? Rhetorical question, just something to think about. And worse yet, Jesus gave him the bread that allowed Satan to enter... are you willing to follow God's plan for your life? Even if it means doing something contrary to popular belief?
Wow, I'm walking in my destiny... that's a bold statement. And how cool to know about it while it's happening. What a blessing to be present for the blessing. I don't have to wait and look back on it to enjoy it. Here are the words of prophecy I received from the International House of Prayer:
(August 23)You’re such a special treasure, the Lord has gifted you with the ability to love well. You can love well, a lover of him and others. Are you married? He’s given you the ability to love other well, and be a faithful servant. Lay your life down in that place of service, giving of your heart, self, and time. Such a treasure to the Lord the way you do that and into giving to Him. New season ahead, shifting you into new things, awakening in your heart. Stirring your heart for Him, a new hunger for Him. Unlock the gifts of the Spirit, greater dimensions moving in the Spirit, healing and prophecy.
Ministry opportunities, a clarity in calling and direction,“what exactly am I supposed to do?” You don’t get all the information at once, but the Lord is laying things out for you to run in that direction.
A picture of you hiking, on an adventure exploring new territory. Paving the way for the next generation. The Lord is going to bring you to a place of working with children who are spiritual orphans, parents are there but didn’t provide spiritual place to grow. He’s taking you to work with those kids, I’m paving/ leading the way for them so they can have the Spiritual life their parents didn’t give them. He’s leading me on that in this next season. It’s going to be a really good time, there’s a lot of joy. I’m not scared at all, even though I am hiking alone, because this is for them this is so good there’s joy in it and I’m confident that the Lord is leading me to the right place where I need to be.
Opportunities ministry wise in the South. Southern US or Mexican region.
(August 30)Precious to HIm, my little girl, I like her a lot, she’s fun, I like to spend time with her, I like when she opens the Word it’s exciting I get to talk to her and use my words I like how she thinks and enjoys little quirks, she sees things differently from others, brings it back to me we talk about it and go deep. Word studies are natural for me, it’ll stand out and I’ll look it up and I’ll go deeper, prayer room, walks, whatever I do He enjoys it. Psalm 1:3 a tree planted by the rivers that brings forth it’s fruit, whatever he does shall prosper. Interesting picture: your heart with a dark swirl around you, even at your legs you feel tied, you feel a darkness around you but the Lord wants to encourage you that there’s a breakthrough coming, keep contending in that place for the breakthrough. In the midst of the swirl and darkness as the breakthrough comes there’s an invitation, grace from God for another level of holiness. There might be different areas He speaks to you about- invitations from Him, as you fight and contend for this breakthrough, there’s grace for it. The kingdom of heaven suffers, but the violent take it by force. the Lord will give you grace to contend, pray in the Spirit, when we don’t have the strength, we ask Holy Spirit will you help me. He’ll give you the practicals of learning how to fight, an equipping season, the weapons for our right hand or left, and even though it’s dark you’ll come out thankful for all that He did during this time.
God read my mail up one side and down the other, He gave me hope when I was in a dry and weary land. Oh how He loves us!
And then there are the videos I have from friends back in NC, I asked them to sit in front of my laptop and say nice things... which hurt to listen to when I felt let down... but after watching them the other day I can see how prophetic they are. Speaking of NC, I miss my friends. Who would have thought that the day I became Jayme's maid of honor, something we'd been planning for years (we just needed her husband in the equation), that I'd have to carry out that task from such a distance? But God knows what He's doing, even if I don't have a clue. At least I'll be able to see her get married, tissue please!
I have horses back in my life. Something I did not even realize was missing, but God knows horses are a huge part of me. Cowboy Bill, the man who runs the barn has given me an open invite to come out whether anyone is there or not. And as if that's not enough, Cowboy Bill reminds me a TON of Lee Gates, my mom's boyfriend of 7 years who died in a tragic ultralight airplane crash when I was a freshman in high school. After drinking, druging, and stuffing that fact for 6 years I sobered up my senior year of college. Over the past 5 and a half years, I have dealt with the pain of losing Lee. I have experienced layers upon layers of this healing "onion" and at times have become inpatient wondering "haven't I dealt with this? When will I quit crying about this?" All that to say, when I look at Cowboy Bill for too long I get chocked up and tears stream down my face. Only God. In different facets of my life, I see miracles every day. I am so truely blessed I can hardly stand it!
Here I sit in the International House of Prayer prayer room, soaking in His presence. I got to soak up the mights of Laura Hackett leading a set and then as she sat in the prayer room during Misty's set, I gave her a love note. It said, "I always told myself I'd THANK YOU if I got the chance, so Thank you for allowing the good Lord to use you. Your songs have gotten me THRU some rough things. Thanks for your willingness. Love, Stephanie Hillis p.s. If there's any chance we can be friends, give me a call or something (919) 360-4656". When I handed it to her, she asked, "This is from you?", I went and sat down and after she read it, she looked at me with her hand on her heart and said "thanks". Here are some of the sweeeeet lyrics she shared today:
"catch me up in Your story, all my life for Your glory"
"Put me anywhere
just put Your glory in me
I'll serve anywhere
just let me see Your beauty"
This has been my experience sowing into the lives of the young ladies at the House of Hope.