God works in obvious ways

Although it has felt like a mess of a mystery, I am beginning to see glimpses of why things have gone astray lately. The Lord loves for me to lean on Him, trust in Him, give Him His rightful control in my life (which I have an awful habit of snatching and attempting to do things in my own strength). I know, you may think I am strong, but that's just not so- I am weak and He is strong.
So I have sat myself down to tell you a tale of this last month of my life because I have promised the details, thank you for your patience! Fuffle is currently snuggled on my feet and I have peace in my heart.
Thursday August the 18th (4 weeks ago exactly) Kendall, Jayme, and I were traveling WEST. [Side note- Kendall and Jayme are two of the greatest friends I could ever ask for, and my favorite part is the Lord just gave 'em to me, I didn't even have to ask.] It was a 20 hour drive, we had some fun, we had tons of laughs, we got to my new home and job safely. Then all hell seemed to break loose. We arrived to find an awful living condition, we were in shock. Although the Program Manager had informed me Wednesday night (cars were all packed, we were leaving the next morning) that I would indeed have a roommate and our "apartment" was in the residential facility with the 54 girls there for treatment, I was not prepared becasue I was under the impression that I would have my own apartment on campus but seperate from the facility. The AC in the apartment was not working, the overhead light in the kitchen did not work, and the carpets were disguisting. I kept telling myself that when the Israelites entered the Promise Land they had to begin to fend for themselves, God was no longer providing manna. My friends appreciated my humble heart to make it work but didn't feel right about leaving without at least trying to find me a better living situation. We spent Saturday seaching and found some great posibilites. Unfortunately my Grandpa Darley passed away that morning, and on top of all my upset for having moved and feeling deceived, I was of little use. But God gave me Kendall and Jayme who were mighty warriors to persevere. At one point they just left me in the car and went and spoke with the apartment reps to gather information. We grabbed dinner then checked into a hotel. We were all pretty spent, our ability to think and funtion were hindered. It wasn't long before my keys were locked in my car, and minor melt-downs were occuring. But we got through it. Sunday morning I dropped them at the airport when I felt my heart breaking. How was I supposed to make it without them holding me up? I headed directly to the IHOP prayer room, where the Lord broke down my walls of survival mode. I spent Sunday evening with another friend the Lord has blessed me with, Sarah, she and I actually lived together back in Greenville before she moved out here 2 years ago (to get as far away from me as possible, haha, that's a joke- but seriously, neither one of us imagined we'd be good friends today. Sarah has been a great source of encouragement this past month as I have faced many challenges.)
Monday morning I met with my new boss to explore my living off campus (he clarified this is not an option), I asked if my rent could be less (not an option), I asked if the $500 I pay in rent could go back into the apartment for carpet and other needs (he didn't seem to take that option seriously). Meanwhile, he told me to be patient, treating me like I'm a snob to have standards. I left the meeting very discouraged, wondering if I was even suppossed to be under this man's authority. Tuesday morning I returned to the IHOP prayer room and was able to catch a spot for prophecy. The words I recieved were ON POINT, things like "God is going to bring clarity to what you're supposed to be doing" "opportunities to minister to kids who are spiritual orphans" "hiking up a mountain, on a hard journey by yourself, but there's joy in it, you're paving the way for the next generation". All that to say, I felt like the Lord confirmed my working and growing where He'd planted me. So I woke up Wednesday morning 100% committed to the job I came here for. I began training for my new job and a mere four hours later, my boss "let me go" becasue "it's not a good fit"... I was dumbfounded. I was confused, wondering 'Lord, I thought we talked about this and had it all figured out, I can overcome the circumstances...'
I spent the majority of Thursday at the IHOP prayer room, packed a lunch and everything. Crying, praying, searching, sitting at His feet, crying, praising, resting, you get the picture. As I was leaving, I saw a woman I'd met and prayed with on Tuesday, Deborah. I caught her up on the events which had occured, and she thought to connect me with a friend of her's, Ali. As I was jotting down my contact info for Deborah to give to Ali the next time she saw her, Ali walks in. Ya'll, this was a divine moment. I was still pretty beat and raw, but I told Ali a little about myself. She interrupted me to call her boss, Marilyn- founder of the Kansas City House of Hope. I had an interview with Marilyn the next morning. I decided to fast on Friday to seek clarity in what the Lord had for me- becasue I obviously could not figure it out. The interview went relatively well, I definitely had some hot mess moments which probably worked to my advantage. You see, it's my wrong thinking that I should have it all together, but Marilyn needed to see that I do not have it all together, that I am teachable. Friday night I met two of Sarah's friends, Ashley and Alyssa. Both of whom I adore. The next morning I moved in with Sarah and Alyssa because Ashley doesn't need her room until October 1st. I have so enjoyed calling this place home and am now searching for my next home. The journey continues and I am believing for great things.
After shadowing at the House of Hope, and then leading with Liz (whose been working there for 3 years) there to help when I needed it, I have been hired. Yes, praise God I am employed! I was made to help, my purpose in life is to assist in the healing process in an individual's life. I am so excited to work with the 9 girls who are currently there. It's going to rock my world, try my patience like nothing else. Let the stretching continue, the refining by fire. God has so many awesome plans for me.
There have been really rough times in the waiting, in the emotional rawness. My 27th Birthday (Sept 8th) was especially rough as I could not settle myself. I was restless, irritable, and discontent. But that passed. I have availed myself to people who build me up, share with and encourage me in the solution, pray for me, and listen as I go through difficult things. Going through is the important part, not just getting around it. Change can be exhilerating, but when it doesn't go my way, it's rather exhausting! The most exhausting part is rehearsing the negative events over and over, so I am glad it's all out in written form now! Things are looking up.
Lending hope is the name of the game. Earlier today I returned to the Health Department to get my negative TB test results and get he FLU shot. The nurse was a mess, I watched her as she spiraled out of control, for a selfish second I thought of myself and how I rather her not come near me with a needle. Then I snapped into reality, I have tools for getting through life that she needs. I waited for her to pause and asked if she knew the serenity prayer. She said she says it a thousand times a day (still super hyped up). I told her how it works better for me if I'll slow down or even stop, close my eyes, and then say it. She took a deep breath and realized I knew where she was coming from. She calmed down, and began to be emotional because other people have been telling her similar things and one lady even gave her a Bible. I asked if she had a car, if the car had a manual, and how I believe the Bible is a manual for our lives. She settled even more, I told her how I used to struggle with drug abuse. She admitted that she's recently relapsed and I basically let her know that I could recognize a lot of the symptoms. I made many suggestions, I offered tons of hope, I expressed how much her Father in Heaven loves her and is pursuing her, then I prayed for her. She will never be the same. I will call her when she gets off work at 5 today. I was made to lend hope.