Enjoying the journey

The other day I was in an in-depth conversation about the status of my precious life. The wise man I was speaking with said, "don't hit the fast-forward button on your life." And today, not in any sort of conversation, I heard another wise man randomly quote AW Tozer,"Many Christians are satisfied with their destination but they neglect the journey." I am pretty sure God is trying to tell me something...

So... I get it! Well, I hope and pray it has dropped from head knowledge to being known by my soul. I had a present (gift) tattooed on my ankle a couple years ago to remind me to "stay in the present"... it's cute but worthless. Staying in the present moment has more to do with remaining in the presence of the Lord, which I have stunk at lately. I have been doing everything for God, with the impression that I was spending time with Him. Wrong, oh so wrong. It's the oddest thing considering I know better! But none of that knowledge mattered when I became satisfied with my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

As you may very well know, I have been raising support to get onto the campus of ECU as a full-time missionary. What you may not realize is that I have been in this process for 18 months. I am all sorts of ready to be released from this season of waiting. Thus the AW Tozer quote, which almost knocked me over!

Another area I seem to want to "fast forward" is this season of singleness. I experience weeks of loving it, and appreciating the freedom to do whatever I want. And weeks of feeling like I am going to melt if I have to live another day (just so you know, I am laughing at myself right now!) single. Yuup, putting it ALL out there people. The point is, I am exactly where Jesus wants me and as a song lyric so gracefully says, "He's making me a mountain that cannot be moved."

I have been single as long as I have been living for the Lord, 4.5 years. I am 25 years old and tons of my friends are getting married. It takes a lot to get me to a wedding because I rather... well, let's just say they hurt my single-person feelings. My friend since the 5th grade invited me to her May 22nd wedding and I couldn't live with myself if I skipped out just to save myself from some hurt feelings.

And boy am I grateful I went. Rachel and Joshua Chui's wedding makes the top 5 list of "the most beautiful occasions I have ever witnessed"! A frog jumped in my throat the second I saw her looking like an angel with such peace and joy (crap, I am getting chocked up again just thinking about it). The pastor who married them had so many beautiful and true things to say about their relationship: the way they pursue God, the way Josh pursued Rachel, how this won't be the best day of their lives because they are destined for so much more, I could go on and on.

The point is, I was extremely blessed by their example of love, sacrifice, and pure joy. And as ready as I think I am for that sort of thing... I am single and I trust God knows best. His thoughts are higher than mine and I appreciate that. So... my feelings were not hurt at the wedding, but I did cry a lot in regards to the beauty. Mostly during the moments they demonstrated honor and respect for their parents, or any time anyone else cries. Oh and I should let you know that I was trying to hold back the tears because all I could find to catch them was an old tissue that was wrapped around a piece of gum (gross, I know!). When Rachel danced with her Dad, I found a legit tissue which allowed me let it all out, and a girl I hardly knew felt the need to rub my back. Let's just say I was a wreck! Keep in mind that Rachel and her Dad planted many seeds of Christ's love in my life and played large roles in my knowing Jesus! They mean the world to me. Yes, I am trying to explain my-crying-self, but the reality is God made me tender and He's transformed my heart of stone into that of flesh!

Enough about me, let me show you this amazing union I am honored to have witnessed. One that helps me "play" and not "fast-forward" because I know God will bring along that man who is more amazing than I can imagine.

I just show up and find out

Wow, so much has occurred that I am quite frankly overwhelmed to think of it all... and I have used my better judgement to not record that which I have wanted to blog. Allow me to share a small portion of the last month that will not offend anybody.

After not seeing Molly for the 3 years she's been living in Chicago, I got to spend the weekend with her, her mom Joanne, and her brother Noah- for his graduation from UNC-Asheville. Molly and I met when she was in the 3rd grade, I was in the 4th. Her mom would take me to school in trade for horse-riding lessons my mom gave Molly. We became sisters 17 years ago, so naturally Noah became a brother to me, and Joanne a mom! Getting to spend an entire weekend with individuals I consider very important made for a lot of excitement and very little rest, and practically no sleep. But please know that we ate very well- Noah had us in all his favorite spots eating far more than a person should intake (my pants are still a bit snug).

So after traveling through the mountains, attending a graduation in the scorching sun, a fantastic effort to do P-90-X on a 7inch screen, and fighting off 6 dogs... I laid down to get some sleep Saturday night, only to have a semi-asleep conversation with Molly as we shared a "too cool for sleep" moment. We were delirious...

Sunday morning, we had yet another delicious meal then Molly, Jo, and myself headed back to Pittsboro. Molly was driving Jo's VW Passat stationwagon at about 75 mph when all of a sudden it began to PEEP PEEP PEEP and the display began flashing "STOP"... as tempting as it was, Molly used her better judgement and did not stop but slowed down and got off on an exit trusting we'd get to a gas station. We let it cool, read the manual (which was not well designed for people in distress), added oil and got back on the road.

Well, I guess it was about 20 minutes later that the BEEPing and "STOP" began to flash again. We knew that meant not to push it, so luckily we were able to pull off into Hickory. It would have been more lucky had it not been Sunday afternoon... no assistance was available. We set up shop in a tiny gas station, constantly in someone's way in order to have a lil AC. After weighing our few options we used AAA and got a tow truck.

All of that to say, or show you how we rode the next 3 hours of our lives. And as always, God is constantly growing me and stretching my comfort zone. Molly and Jo shared the bucket seat and I used them as my seat... with my personal space and boundary issues: legs were going numb, my knees were crammed up and rubbed raw as I used the glove compartment to find some balance. I preferred to sit up, but Jimmy- our excellent driver- kept having me to sit back so he could see the mirrors (kinda important). Considering our lack of sleep and poor diet (breakfast was great, but a Pepsi and ice cream for lunch and dinner...) it did not take much to get me laughing. Just being in that position was enough to get me going...

Wish you could have been there